on to the next
Today was the very first day I told Pat as our coach and my boyfriend that I couldn’t commit to TheCompany for Vibe. Today was the only day I’ve ever opted out of being in a competition w/TheCompany since ‘05. No matter how much shit I had to do or how busy my life was I always made time for practices and always found a way to make it. Even if practice started at 3PM and I couldn’t make it until 730PM I still went. Even if I wasn’t in any core pieces at all just the feeling of being on stage with these people is what makes it all worth it. Although dancing is not my calling and I’m not the best at it, it hurts to know that after 20 years something else is taking over.. and I am soo excited for my future it’s unbelievable but in order to get there I really need to commit. And yeah sure, if you love it you’ll make time for it but at times you have to sacrifice other things to better yourself in other areas. It’s gonna be weird and it already has been by not continually going to practice and not committing as much as I used to. But I can’t be selfish, everyone else will be working their asses off every practice, show up every time, and it would be foolish of me to take that away by just showing up whenever I can or leaving when i need to get other things done or not mentally being there when I should be. I love performing… words can’t express how I feel when I’m on stage it’s like skies the limit it’s the only place I’m not doing anything wrong and the only place I don’t care what anyone says. But I need to do this, I need to set my priorities, I need to set things aside and let the other things grow… on to the next one, hard to move on when you always regret one.
